“I’ll come tomorrow.”
I say it so easily. Almost like I believe it.
The class timings are saved.The bag is ready.The intention is there.
I want to go !!!!!!
I want to sit there, listen, learn something new, feel like a part of something that is just… mine. To become what I haven’t yet.
And yet—
Tomorrow doesn’t always happen. Sometimes, it’s my health.
A heaviness I can’t quite describe. A kind of tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix.
Sometimes, it’s him. (oh! I love him)
A moment when he needs me more. Not loudly. Not urgently. But in a way I can’t ignore. And then my legs won’t budge!!!!
And sometimes… it’s just life.
Situations that don’t align. Things that come up. Days that don’t go as planned.
There’s no single reason.
No one thing I can point to and say—this is why I didn’t go.
And that’s the hardest part. Because when there’s no clear reason, it feels like I’m the reason. And the trainers the mentors and the teachers feel that I am not making the effort. Sigh!
Like I’m the one holding myself back. But then i Kick myself……
“I should have gone.” “I could have managed.” “Why didn’t I just try harder?”
These thoughts come quietly…but they stay. And yet, when I pause—really pause—I see something else.
I see the effort.
In wanting to go. In trying, even if it doesn’t always work out. In choosing, again and again, to not give up on that part of me.
Maybe I can’t explain why some days don’t happen.
But I can say this—
It’s not because I don’t care. It’s not because I don’t want it enough.
It’s because life, right now,is asking me to balance more than I can always name.
And I am trying. Really !!!!
Even on the days that don’t look like progress.Even on the days that feel like I’ve fallen behind.
Maybe not every step forward is visible.
Maybe some days, just holding everything together is its own kind of moving ahead.
Today, “I” reminds me—
That not everything needs an explanation.That effort isn’t always seen.And that even when I don’t fully understand my own pauses…
I am still on my way.
One alphabet at a time, we are growing together
This Blogpost is part of Blogchatter A2Z Challenge 2026
Leave a Reply